Monthly Archives: January 2013

It could have been Fluff.

It could have been Fluff.

imagesI have good news and I have bad news, The good news is that after about 48 hours of severe nausea I am finally feeling better. This really knocked me on my ass and I will be happy to put it behind me. It all started with a Sunday night tummy ache which I took for the usual “Sunday night I don’t want to go to school tummy ache”. So, I watched  a Hallmark Movie, ate a little Nutella and went to bed. Fast forward to 3:00 am that morning and I was kissing the porcelain god. Not pretty. I thought it was just a one time deal since I immediately felt better so I went to work. As the day progressed I begin to look and act like Sissy Spacek in Carrie so I came home to rest. When I woke up Tuesday morning I thought I had it beat until my feet hit the floor than BAM it was a non stop party in the bathroom. Not pretty. I hate throwing up. Not that I ever met anybody that does but I really, really hate throwing up. Yesterday was spent laying down as quietly as I could because any movement started the nausea all over again. I realized just how sick I was when I was too tired to change the channel and watched a 4 hour marathon of  Snookie and JWOWW. (That is my story and I am sticking with it. I was sick dammit). So, that is the good news. I am feeling better.

The bad news? Well, I mentioned that Nutella was the last thing I ate before I became so sick and after 2 days of not eating anything but toast ( more proof I was really sick, I was not hungry!) I am finally getting my appetite back. That should be good news right? NOT!  You would think that the very first thing I would go for is Nutella but the thought of  it is making me feel slightly nauseous. I do not want to eat Nutella! I am praying this terrible, terrible feeling passes and my love for Nutella will return but as of right now if I even see the jar my stomach does a flip-flop. Ugh. In my heart I know Nutella did not make me sick but my stomach just remembers the last thing I ate and the first thing to come up.So, I am thrilled to finally be feeling human again but sad that the thought of Nutella is making me want to vomit.  As my friend Ann pointed out to me there is a bright side to everything, it could have been worse, it could have been Fluff.

Kindness

Kindness

My cup runneth over, Thank You Shirley. You have the kindest heart of anyone I know and I am not at all surprised that you correspond with those serving in our Armed Forces. What a great idea! Please let me know how to go about doing the same and I would love to do it! Do you think there are any Soldiers out there that would be willing to read the noise and nonsense in my head?  You made my day! xoxoxshirley

Cheers!

Cheers!

07-atxl1I  totally freaked out watching a mouth wash commercial this morning. It said that brushing your teeth was not enough and then showed  creepy, ghostlike, scary little men wreaking havoc and spreading germs in some poor guys mouth. I immediately started making a list of all the mouth wash I must run out and buy and then it hit me.  Tequila is taking care of all the creepy little  germs in my mouth. Cheers!

It is hard being a Mom.

It is hard being a Mom.
Me finally finding some alone time.

Me finally finding some alone time.

I love being a Mother truly I do but sometimes when I can not lock myself in the bathroom or run out of the house screaming I like to make a list in my head of all the things that are easier than being a Mom. And yes I do realize that I make a lot of lists. You would think I would be the most organized human on the planet but you would be wrong. I think making lists keeps me sane. But, I am meandering. Let’s just say last night was one of those trying Mom moments when you know you are being tested or at the very least you are being punked. So, my list making is in over drive this morning and here is my updated list of things that are easier to do than being a Mom.

1. Climbing Mt. Everest. Hey, at least I would have some alone time.

2. Watching the scariest movie in the world. I am a Mom. You can not scare me.

3.Falling from a plane with a malfunctioning parachute. I am always free-falling. I do not like the Tom Petty song.

4. Shopping at Market Basket on the first of the month which just happens to fall on a Sunday. Been there and Done that.

5.Riding the rapids without a paddle. Easy peasy, I have driven with The Thinker and Princess Pissy Pants.

6. Having Lunch Duty all by myself when Nacho’s Supreme is on the menu with oranges that need peeling for dessert. Add in Capri Sun juice pouches and I am in my own private Hell but still more enjoyable than being a Mom last night.

7. Putting on Spanx.

8. Going to the Gynecologist. Yup, I went there.

9. Trying on Bathing Suits sober.

10. The 30+ hours of labor plus an emergency C-Section.

I believe all of the above are things that are  easier than being a Mother but I still would not trade a moment of being a Mom. Most especially The Thinker and Princess Pissy Pants Mom.

The Noise In My Head (and it is SCREAMING!).

 

 

I received a letter!

I received a letter!

 

letterHow much do I love my friends? The answer would be so, so very much! I just wrote a post about how much I love letters and would some one please send me one. I received a letter today! My friend, Debbie, sent me the sweetest letter. I love it! Debbie is my friend, neighbor and Mother of  Tessa, the smartiest girl I know.  Is it any wonder Tessa turned out as amazing as she did with a Mother that answers her friends wishes and whims with such love and humor? So, not only am I lucky enough to receive a letter but it will be kept in my letter box as a constant reminder of how much I value her friendship and her baby girl. Thank You Debbie. Love you. I got a letter!

Conspiracy Theory

Conspiracy Theory

Monday night I woke up at 3:00 am and could  not figure out why. I quickly realized I was not breathing well because my CPAP machine was not working. After looking around a bit I figured out that we had lost power. Every house on the street was in total darkness. I was relieved because for a quick moment I thought I had forgotten to pay the bill or even worse that The Saint had finally reached his breaking point and decided to get rid of me. Last night I woke up again to the same exact scenario except this time we had not lost electricity. Nope, this time Jack, my cat, was sound asleep on the machines hose and cutting off my air supply. Accident?, well considering that Jack worships the Saint I don’t think so. I am sleeping with both eyes open tonight. (Is that possible?).

The Noise In My Head ( and it is oxygen deprived and humming the theme from”Mission Impossible”).

I am not this pretty when I sleep. Usually the hose is wrapped around my neck and my hair is sticking straight up!

I am not this pretty when I sleep. Usually the hose is wrapped around my neck and my hair is sticking straight up!

Letters

Letters

Example of handwriting with gold penDo you know what I miss? I miss letters. I miss writing, sending, receiving and reading letters. I enjoy the convenience of texting and email but I love letters. I love the whole process of picking the stationary, putting thoughts on paper and hoping that the person I am sending it to realizes that I have put much more than just the sheet of paper into the envelope before sealing it. I love letters. Somebody please send me one and I promise to send one back.

Life in the Fast Lane……..

Life in the Fast Lane……..

My mind is racing right now which means The Noise In My Head is really loud. Writing usually helps to quiet it so here goes.

I was lucky enough to spend the weekend celebrating my Nephew, Jake and seeing friends I had not seen in a while. After I had the opportunity to visit with one friend I was thinking about how easy it was and what a shame that I had not seen him more often. I text him that thought and he replied that Life is moving too fast.

 

Fast Forward to that night and I am with my family and friends celebrating Jake being named one of 40 people under the age of 40 in Southeastern Connecticut making a difference in their communities. Needless to say I was bursting with pride and thinking about all the moments throughout his life where I have just been filled with wonder and love for this amazing boy. But wasn’t he just 8 years old yesterday dancing to Beauty in the Beast in my kitchen? It was an award-winning performance by the way. Life is moving too fast.

 

Today I had lunch with a friend I can pick up with like I just saw her a moment ago even when it has been months. Every time we get together we talk about how we need to see each other more often and just quick lunches are not enough. We also reminisce about how she got me drunk on my 21st Birthday and I threw up a perfectly intact frosting rose from my Birthday cake, Pretty. It just seems like something always keeps us apart. Work, Commitments, Distance but Life is moving too fast.

 

So, here I am thinking about all of this and my head hurts. I am so lucky to have all these people and moments in my life but what am I missing? I would hope that the people in my life would be the most important thing and that I would not lose sight of that. How many moments does a person get in their life to be with people they love and make them happy? How irresponsible of me to not recognize these moments and let the day-to-day get in the way of creating more of them. I know that there are responsibilities and commitments that have to be met on a daily basis but shouldn’t this too short life we have that is moving at warp speed  be filled with people and moments we love? I think so. So, how can I make this happen? How can I stay in the moment and say yes more often and not put things off to another time when it might be easier or more convient? Because I am thinking Life is moving too fast and I want it to be filled with moments that will slow things down.

The Noise In My Head (and it is singing “Life in the Fast Lane”).

 

 

Right at this moment I am sad.

Right at this moment I am sad.

I am sad. I often am brought back to the horror of the Sandy Hook Shooting. At least once a day, usually more than once, when I am at school I am filled with a sudden cold fear of the shooting. I can feel the fear in my stomach and it fills me with dread. If I am in the office and someone buzzes the front door to be let in I usually look to Marcela in a panic and hope that she recognizes who it is. This makes me sad for a number of reasons but mostly because I hate thinking the worst of every person I see. I want to believe that everyone is good and kind. I want to believe that everyone has something or someone to live for. I want to believe that everyone sees the good in the world. I want to believe that evil does not exist and that most certainly nobody wants to harm an innocent child. I know the world is far from perfect but I want to believe that my little place in it is a safe and happy place. But lately all the horrors that have been caused by evil has proven to me that there really is no safe place in the world and I have to look at everyone a little differently and that makes me sad.