My thoughts will not turn off. The Noise in my head is deafening.
What I am thinking right now is how very grateful I am for my friends, I have been blessed. I know I learned about friends from my Dad. He had the best of friends and was a good friend. At least I hope I got that from him. I know I got his nose and his receding gums (thanks Dad). My Dad had lifelong friends and he worked hard at keeping them in his life no matter where he was or how busy he night have been. I am thinking of people like Joe Romano, Nick Naples, Marc Aquino, Jen Jowdy, Trebor, Bill Liss, Guy Stark, Jack Whitmore, Alan Lane…the list goes on and on. His friends that became Family.
My friends are my chosen family as well,and I am forever grateful. I have never been more thankful for my friends then I have been in the last 2 weeks. My friends have been my lifeline.
My friends have come to visit me even when I thought I did not want to see anyone.They were right and even though I was not pretty they didn’t run out of the house screaming.
My friends have brought me dinner, lunch, fruit (I ate it!) , cupcakes, donuts (Dad’s favorite), flowers, Nutella, cookies, candles, a Tiara and 6 bags of Candy Corn!
My friends have sent the most beautiful cards and Mass Cards. Dad would have loved the Mass Cards.
My friends have cried with me.
My friends have held my hand and not said a word.
My friends have listened to my stories about Dad again and again and again.
My friends have sent me texts every day just to “Check In”.
My friends have been mean to me when I asked them to do so. Janeen, Lauren, Andrew and Natalie have done an exceptionally good job!
My friends have honored Dad with donations in his name.
My friends have not judged me in my grief.
My friends have asked me “What can I do?” and when I have said “Nothing, there is nothing just Thank You” they have hugged me and that was more than enough.
My Friends have laughed with me and made me forget for a bit that my Dad is not here.
One friend has called me Skunk and he knows how much that means to me without me even having to say a word.
When I say that I know how selfish I am being, that I am not the first daughter to lose their father they remind me that if was MY FATHER and it is unique to me.
My friends have shared their memories and stories of my Dad and I love that he loved my friends just as much as I do. I love that their memories are woven into mine. Dad celebrating Jen’s Birthday with her, taking Sara Jane and me to the Hampshire House for dinner and letting each of us order two desserts apiece, taking Gina and me on his boat and letting us steer the boat right into the waves causing his camera to bounce out and into the ocean (he did not yell even though we knew he was mad), telling Kim that she could be one of the sisters, attending the annual Olive Street parade at Deb’s house, visiting me in Boston and going dancing at one of my favorite Gay bars where he met and then introduced me to someone that became a life long friend. I remember that night so well.
Dad: “Skunk, come here and meet this great guy I just met. He’s the Bartender.”
Me:” Dad, that’s great but I dont think he is interested in me, remember where we are.”
Dad: ” He’s a great guy. You can never have too many friends and a Bartender is good friend to have”
And he was right, and I love Kevin and I never had to pay a cover to Manray’s again!
And Dad continues to bring new friends into my life. Dee’s cousin’s daughter, Katelyn (got that?) reached out to me through Facebook after Dad’s surgery. I had met her once 11 years ago when she was 10. It was such a lifeline. She and her Mom kept us informed on what was happening in Atlanta. We felt so far away. When we got there they embraced us with their love and kindness.Since I have left Atlanta Katelyn has sent me the sweetest texts and messages. She has been such a gift. Another gift from my Dad.
I just walked into the kitchen and saw that it was almost 10:30. My heart stopped. 10:30, time for my Dad’s weekly phone call. Then I heard my phone with a text. It was Katelyn making Dad’s weekly call.