Last night I went out with some of my dearest friends to celebrate their Birthdays. I think it was pretty big of me to celebrate other people’s Birthdays but hey, I am just generous like that and really I just love Birthday’s. I get it from my Dad. he loved his Birthday and would start talking about it months in advance. He would ask if you needed his Birthday list and remind you he loved Chocolate Cake. Sound Familiar?
Anyway, I digress. Joanne graciously offered to drive us to the restaurant in her fancy new SUV. Do not ask me what kind it is, I have no idea but it very pretty and fancy. Since there was 6 of us I offered to sit in the back with Lisa. Lisa weighs 5 pounds and is tiny. I think she lives in the Keebler tree house. When we got to the restaurant Donna kindly moved the seat up so I could get out and that’s when the problem started. I could not get out! I could not maneuver forward, sideways or out! I was stuck! There was nothing to grab on to haul my fat a** up and I ended up sliding off the seat and onto the car floor. Problem solved? NO! Apparently I am too wide to gracefully get out of fancy SUV’s. I tried scooching out, NO! I tried holding onto the door and pulling myself out, No! I tried inching my way out a little bit at a time, NO! Are you getting a picture? I finally had to turn sideways and fall out of the car. Pretty.
You might be wondering where my dear friends where while all this was taking place. I will tell you, Donna was standing outside of the car door laughing so hard she almost hurt herself. KK and Kathleen just got out of the car and ran away not wanting to be part of the spectacle. And Lisa the Keebler Elf? Well, she was sitting behind me laughing and videoing the whole tragic event. Then she gracefully exited the car with ease and yelled “Who wants to see that again?” Nice, really, really nice.
I think it is safe to say “The be nice to Janet” phase is over.
There is no picture for this post because I would not subject any of you to the horror. I will say if that Video shows up ANYWHERE I will find Lisa’s little Keebler Tree House and cut it down!