Monthly Archives: November 2013

Dad #15, Thanksgiving and Debbie.

Dad #15, Thanksgiving and Debbie.
I love this picture.

I love this picture.

Everyone knows the traditional Thanksgiving story; Pilgrims, Native Americans and a grateful feast. This year I have my own Thanksgiving story. I am not going to lie, I am not looking forward to this Thanksgiving. I am not looking forward to the holidays at all. But I do have a lot to be grateful for and most importantly I am grateful for my friends. Not to be sappy or maudlin but I am insanely blessed with friends. I read somewhere that friends make the stories of our lives. I love that. I love the chapters my friends and I have created together and I look forward to a million more stories. If you are reading this you are most likely some one I consider a friend and am very grateful to have in my life. Thanks for putting up with me. My Thanksgiving story is about one specific friend lost and then found with the help of my Dad.

I met Debbie in a dance class in college. She was one of those people who you just “click” with and in a matter of weeks we were inseparable. Besides having a love of dance, musical theater and warped sense of humor in common I thought Debbie was fearless. She said whatever came to mind, was all about having adventures and was not afraid to try something new. Through the years we shared everything; clothes, money, places to live and more laughs than I can remember. We were in each others weddings, she was with me when Riss and Mario were born and we helped each other through life’s disappointments. She kept me sane. She shared with me her wonderful parents and  her insanely funny brother. Deb always accepted me for who I was and I could just be me; the good, the bad and the ugly with no judgement. Honestly, if Debbie had been a man I would have married her.

About 15 or 16 years ago we drifted apart. It was not a major argument or anything drastic like that. More of  life and certain situations getting in the way. It is not something I am proud of and in hindsight I should have done more to preserve the friendship. It is easy to say that this prevented it or that prevented it, but none the less it happened and it was a loss. Through the years I tried to find her. I Googled, I searched the White pages and you know I stalked Facebook all to no avail. She was often on my mind. I have had my favorite picture of her stuck on my bureau mirror for about 20 years. It was taken in a dressing room when she was Anita in West Side Story. It’s a great picture of her and I never took it down. Sometimes I would look at it and remember something funny and smile. Sometimes I would look at it and mourn the loss of her friendship. But the picture always brought me comfort. This past March my Dad came to visit. He came into my bedroom for something, I think to pet Jack who was sleeping on the chair, and he stopped to look at my messy bureau full of pictures and memories. He spotted the picture of Debbie and said “Skunk, have you found her?”. I replied “No Dad but I try every once in a while”. He said “Keep trying”.

I am being honest that when Dad was diagnosed with Cancer and in the weeks that followed I thought of Debbie. I wanted to tell her what was happening and just how scared and sad I was. I knew that if I fell apart in front of her and voiced my worse fears she would not only know what to say but it would comfort me just to know she knew. Does that make sense? She was just that kind of friend. Dad died and my thoughts have been pretty much consumed with that sad horrible truth. There has not been room for much more than getting through my days and coming to terms with the void he left. The new normal.

When I returned from Disney I had an email that there were two new messages on Dad’s Legacy.com page. I went to read them and one of them was from…. (Drum roll please, This is the good part of the story!)…. Debbie! My heart burst with her kind words and just the fact that she had written to me. I contacted her with my phone number and within 10 minutes she called. Honestly, hearing her voice felt like home. We screamed, laughed, talked and caught up for two hours. There was no awkwardness and no remorse, just the same easy friendship we formed in a dance studio almost 30 (yikes) years ago. About half way through the conversation I asked her how she knew that Dad had passed. And she said “I was waiting for you to ask, are you ready for this?” Well, Deb and her husband are living in North Carolina now. She and her husband had gone out to dinner and  two men were seated  at the table next to them.  She overheard one of them say to the other “I am sorry to tell you George DeLucia has passed away”. WHAT!?!??!? She said she could not believe that she was hearing Dad’s name and said to her husband “I think I know who they are talking about”.  As soon as she got home she Googled “George DeLucia Obit” and Dad’s photo and his obituary came up. She read it and instantly left me a Facebook message (That I never saw. I never check other messages.) and left the loving message on Legacy.com.

My Dad had done business a long time ago for a short period of time in North Carolina. I have no doubt the men were  someone he had done business with.Of all the restaurants they could have chosen to go to that night they picked that one. In a restaurant full of tables the two men were seated next to her. Nobody can convince me that my Dad did not have everything to do with bringing my friend back to me when I needed her most.  So even though my heart will be heavy with what I have lost this Thanksgiving it will be most grateful for what has been found. Thank You Dad, Love you.

And that is MY Thanksgiving story. Isn’t it a good one?

P.S. Debbie and I are going to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade together via phone tomorrow morning. How great is that?

P.P.S. Somebody asked me why I did not use more photos in my posts. Truth be told I have not been able to look through all my pictures. Too many good memories. I am sure in time I will be able to look through them without falling apart and then I will BOMBARD  and BORE you all with  my family photos. Good Times!

Static on a Monday morning……….

Static on a Monday morning……….

morning

Good Morning Monday!

You do not scare me because this is a 3 day work week before a Holiday weekend.

A Holiday weekend that involves being thankful and food.

I am a little teary about celebrating but despite our personal loss I have the most to be thankful for, he was my Father and I have the most loving and caring family and friends. Except Eduardo. He can be really snarky when it comes to music and food.

I miss him.

Dad, not Eduardo.

I don’t have BootcaNp tonight. That is a good thing and a bad thing. I am always happy AFTER class but thinking about getting m ass kicked at the end of the day is tough. I am proud of myself for completing this Boot Camp. I only missed one when I was at Disney. I made a promise to myself that I was going to do it and I did. Again, I had great friends that kept me motivated and the best Teacher. It makes a difference. I also cried and swore a lot. Sometimes that helps as well.

I bought really cute pants yesterday. I am going to wear them today and remember how nice it was that I got to spend a spontaneous shopping day with Gigi yesterday. I love spending time with my sisters.

I love shopping.

Triple P does not enjoy shopping. Not really sure she is my daughter. Remind me to leave her home next time.

Remember what a challenge Drama Club was last year? Well, this year makes last year look like a vacation. Let me just say that with only 5 rehearsals left we have had to replace 3 main characters. Kind of freaking out but keeping it together with the attitude of the understudy’s who said “Mrs. C, we can do this”. Did I mention we only have 5 rehearsals left?

I rested up this weekend in preparation of making THREE boxes of my famous Stove Top Stuffing for Thanksgiving dinner. I think I am ready.

Still all jacked up from seeing Catching Fire. Go see this movie. I can not wait to talk to the students that have seen it. I am looking forward to the book/movie discussion. They nailed this movie. I never say that. The kids are not going to believe it. I never like the movie as much as the book. This is going to be fun!

So, It’s Monday. I got this. I am feeling strong Don Pardo. (I am not sure what that means) Let’s get this party started.

Insert BAD WORD here! The Thinker just came in and informed me our cars were broken into last night. It really does not bother me if some low life wants to steal my things. It’s just stuff. Though I am happy my Donny Osmond CD’s were in the house. What bothers me is that someone was in our backyard last night while we were sleeping. Bad Word, Bad Word, Bad Word. This is the third time our cars have been broken into and the screen house this summer……………

What the hell.

What would Katniss do?

And just like that it is a Monday morning.

The Noise In My Head……..and it started out humming but is now filled with static. Bad Word.

The Noise in my head…………

The Noise in my head…………

Static. Static. Static.

Lately my head is full of noise which I guess is a good thing. My first waking thought is of my Dad and my lost conscious thought before I fall asleep is of my Dad. Throughout the day at the oddest times my Dad comes crashing into my thoughts but lately more often than not my head is full of noise. Still waiting for music but I am thinking that will come in time. I do have three songs on a continuous loop in my head. It’s like background music. They are Roar, Brave and the ever comforting Let It Be. I love the Glee version. So, you know when my head is full of static I need to write it down. Bear with me, join me or close the link. I need to do this.

I found Debbie. I really did lose her about 16 years ago and I found her. Dad had everything to do with it and I want to tell you all about it but I will write about it later when I can do it justice. Suffice it to say I am very happy.

Most of my friends are having Shades of Grey fantasies. Not me. I am having Hunger Game fantasies. I want to be Katniss and I want Donny to be Gale.Ties dont do it for me but a bow and arrow does.  I wish I was technically inclined enough to photo shop our pictures onto the movie poster. Maybe Lauren or Ed could do it for me? Early Christmas present….hint, hint.

Ed is driving a mini van! I may take a ride over to Arlington just to bear witness to this spectacle. Seriously, did hell freeze over?

Yup, Eduardo is driving this!
Yup, Eduardo is driving this!

I love my UPS man. His name is Chris. He brings me things and expects nothing in return. He is so sweet if I am not home he walks around to the back door to leave the goods in a safe spot. He also delivers to school and sometimes he will see me and says things that excite me like “I left a package from Zappo’s at your back door.”Chris also wears a uniform. I love him. It’s ALL good.

 Did you know Zappos usually delivers within 24 hours. I love them as well.

Zumba has been especially healing this week. Natalie is doing student appreciation week and only doing numbers that we request. We have been doing routines that feel familiar, like an old friend and it has been so nice to just dance and for that hour not to think at all.

I love the Bitstrips everyone is posting on Facebook. I think Justin’s looks just like him.

BFF

BFF

I bought a cookbook. I know, I know I will give you all a few moments to recover. Actually relax, I bought it but I have not used it yet. It’s like when I got my very first VCR and Debbie and I would watch the Jane Fonda Video. We never did it, we just watched it.

I worry about Empire Flooring. Really, I do. How do they make any money giving all that flooring away for free?

I really, really do not like Kanye West.

Guess who got in trouble for talking at Lunch today when we were on red? That would be me. I was called out by a Second grader.

 Kate Spade has a whole new line of Champagne themed accessories. I want every single piece. Hint, Hint.

I want this coin purse. Pretty , pretty please!
I want this coin purse. Pretty , pretty please!

 My  Elf name is Pudding Glitter Balls. I like it.

The Thinker surprised me at work yesterday. When I saw him I instantly thought something horrible happened but he just wanted to stop by and say hi. Really. He read Charlie and The Chocolate Factory to the third graders. My heart almost burst. It was a great moment.

We are going to see Catching Fire tonight. I bet I cry.

The Noise In My Head …….(and still hearing Let it Be though I am hopeful that after tonight I will be hearing this).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Show me how big your Brave is…

Show me how big your Brave is…

For the past few months there has not been any music mixed in with the noise in my head. Usually my head is full of music. I have had Let it Be kind of on a continuous loop. Especially the lyric “In times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me singing words of wisdom, Let it be”. I think it might have something to do with my obsession for lighting candles at The Madonna in Orient Heights. It’s kind of become my mantra. It soothes me. Yesterday I heard this song. I think it is going to be in my head for a while. Show me how big your BRAVE is………

Dad # 14 and 24 thoughts about Marissa.

Dad # 14 and 24 thoughts about Marissa.

It is Marissa’s 24th Birthday today. Oh My Goodness! So, in honor of her Birthday I am going to post 24 things about her. I could not help myself, the first thing that popped into my head was Dad. I really am getting better, really I am. I don’t want you all to think that I am sitting around all day wailing and crying because I miss Dad so much because I am not. I only did that the first few weeks. I am trying to put the best of my Dad in my heart and accept the new normal. Some days are better than others. Some days I cry more than others. I am trying. Really I am but today when I thought to myself “It’s Marissa’s Birthday!” my first thought was of Dad. It’s our first big celebration without him. He loved Birthday’s. He loved his the most but he gladly celebrated all of our Birthday’s. Without a doubt every year the first card the kids received in the mail was from Dad. He never forgot a birthday and wanted to be the first to acknowledge it was your day. Marissa has received a Birthday card from her Grandfather for the past 23 years and with all the well wishes she will be receiving today it is the one that she is not that will be felt the most. Still, my baby girl is turning 24 today and I want her to know how very loved she is. 24 thoughts about Triple P……

1. I am still recovering from your birth. You owe me.

2. You make me laugh. Honestly, you are too funny. I love your sense of humor. You are kind of warped. I wonder where you get that??

3. At 24 you are way more mature I will ever be. That is a good thing.

I loved dressing you in matching outfits. I would still do it if you would let me!
I loved dressing you in matching outfits. I would still do it if you would let me!

4. You are a good big sister. I know he makes it hard but I love the way you love your brother.

5. Your laugh/cry kills me and never fails to lighten up our darkest moments.

6. I want the family rate when you have your own practice. Why do they call it a practice anyway? Don’t practice on me, practice on Dad. He needs lots of practice,

7.I love how faithful you are to the entire cast of “Boy Meets World”.

8. I really think you are Andi’s daughter.

9. I love that you have adventures with your friends. Go, have more adventures.

You shopped for this little number. And this is proof you are Andi's daughter!
You shopped for this little number. And this is proof you are Andi’s daughter!

10. I don’t understand why you will not go shopping with me. It hurts Marissa, it really hurts.

11. I love that you like celebrating Holidays as much as I do. I must have done something right!

12. One day I am going to hide your flat iron and watch you go nuts. Ya know, just for shits and giggles.

13. I am a little bitter that you like to nap now and would never nap when you were a baby. Again, you owe me!

Playing and relaxing. I love this picture.
Playing and relaxing. I love this picture.

14. I love that when you were little and I asked you what you were doing you always said “Playing and Relaxing” . I love that you are still playing and relaxing.

15. You like Peach Rings, That is all, I appreciate your dedication to your love of peach rings.

16. It makes me laugh and annoys me at the same time that you like to read to me every single thing you read on Twitter, Buzzfeed, Barstool and Huffington Post. I would be ignorant of all current events if it were not for you and your addiction to your social media.

17. I like going to Disney World with you. Let’s go again really soon.

18. I am so proud of you for getting your Masters Degree. I think you are the smartiest girl in the whole wide world.

You and Annalise celebrating your 2nd Birthday. How cute are the two of you?
You and Annalise celebrating your 2nd Birthday. How cute are the two of you?

19. I love that you have had the same friends forever. I love your friends.

20. I wanted to include a picture of you and Papa but I am not brave enough to look through the pictures. He loved you so and was so very proud of you. He knew every little thing you did and put so much effort into being part of your day to day even though he lived so far away. We were so lucky.

21. I love that you asked for a cake and cupcakes for your Birthday. Maybe you really are my daughter?

22. You + Pizza = Happily Ever After.

23. I am happy you have pretend husbands. I approve of both Luke Russert and Prince Harry.

24. I love you.

Vote For Stacey!

Vote For Stacey!

stickerI have said it before and I will say it again, I don’t like Politics. What I do like is someone stepping up and doing what needs to get done. Unfortunately that usually involves Politics and Politicians. Sometimes you are lucky enough to find a person that is into getting it done for all the right reasons, Stacey Rizzo is one of those people and she is running for  reelection to The Revere School Committee. Personally and selfishly I don’t want her to do it. I hate seeing my friend being beaten up just for doing what she thinks is right. I also want her back in the school working by my side but she knows what needs to be done to keep the schools working for our students and staff and that is why I support her decision to run for reelection.

I have been involved in the McKinley School Drama Club for 13 years. Every year we ask the Politicians of our city for a donation to keep the Club up and running and every year we invite the entire School Committee to come to the production our students have worked so hard to perform. Most of them make a monetary donation for which we are grateful but have never, EVER attended a performance, not once in 13 years. Stacey has never missed one performance, not one. Some of the School Committee members that have never been to one of The McKinley School’s performances have participated in other school’s productions. You know, the bigger, shinier,newer schools production. I think that speaks volumes and it might be voting with my heart and with my gut but you know who I will be voting for and who I will not be voting for.

I was looking at all the bullshit political ads in the Journal and I had to laugh. One of the candidates running for reelection has the slogan that he will represent all the students in the city. That is funny, I have never, ever seen him at The McKinley School in the 20 years I have been part of the community. Not once. Not one event.

Please take all of this into consideration when you vote on Tuesday. Please remember to vote for their actions and not their words. Please vote for Stacey who cares about the students and not the politics. Please remember who continuously shows up for ALL of the students in this city. Thank You. #TeamStacey.

I am Janet Cimmino and I approve of this message.