Monthly Archives: April 2014

Confession

Confession

Bless me Weight Watchers it has been one week since my last weigh in and I have sinned. I have been doing some grief eating these last few days and as I have prayed at your altar before you know I think grief eating should be free of points. I will confess and count the 1and 1/2 pieces of See’s Candy I ate but since See’s Butterscotch squares are made in Heaven they absolutely should not count. Since that is not the case I think I should skip this weeks weigh in and atone my sins until next Monday. Oh Dear God I will be on vacation next week, do you have to count points while vacation eating and if so can tequila count as a free beverage point. I really am trying here and can only hope that you forgive me of my sins and help me find my way back. I did pay $4.53 for a low fat Greek yogurt at the Airport that costs a $1.05 at Market Basket. I think that covers my penance.
Amen.

Uncle.

Uncle.
The Three Amigos

The Three Amigos

Uncle passed away on Saturday. Auntie  was with him and he just slipped away. It was quiet and peaceful and he was with his one true love. I am happy he is not suffering but heartbroken by the loss. He was my Uncle.

Dick Clark (Yes, I am quoting Dick Clark) always said “Music is the soundtrack of your life” and he was right. If I hear a certain song or piece of music more often then not a specific memory surfaces. When Dad passed the only noise in my head for months was “Let It Be”. Since early Sunday morning when I got the call that Uncle had passed my head has been full of this. It’s like it is on a continuous loop in my head. It is very comforting. Music was a huge part of Dad and Uncle’s life. I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

music

I think if you looked for the definition of Family in the dictionary you would see a picture of my Dad and My Uncle. They were the definition of family.

Dad and Uncle were the best of friends. Is it any surprise?

My heart is broken for my Aunt. She is our rock. She has lost her brother and her husband in a short 7 months. It is not fair.

I don’t think I will ever be able to sleep through the night again. I have given up on sleep.

My beloved sister set her alarm to 5:30 in the morning so that she could call me at 7:30 to tell me about Uncle. She did not want me to hear that Uncle has passed from anybody but her. Is it any wonder why I love her so much?

As usual when something bad happens in my life my friends circle in and bring me huge comfort. I am a lucky girl.

I was talking to Ugo and he reminded me how very blessed we were. As usual he was comforting me when I should have been comforting him but none the less he was right, we were blessed. My Uncle wanted for nothing in life. He was married to his best friend, had 2 children that he adored, a beloved granddaughter and family and friends that filled every moment of his life. He was successful in all the ways that mattered most, family and faith. Like Auntie told me, there were absolutely no regrets. Who could ask for anything more?

This is exactly how I feel and what Ugo meant about us being so lucky:

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Kahlil Gibran

 When my Aunt and Dad were little my Aunt would often look at the moon and ask my Father to get it for her. She wanted the moon. When my Aunt married Uncle my Father gave her a beautiful print of a man in the moon. He said that in marrying Uncle she had everything she had ever wanted.  It has been hanging on their living room wall for as long as I can remember. Whenever I look at the moon I will think of their great love and I will think of Uncle. Always.

I will miss my Uncle.

I miss my Dad.

 P.S. I pray for a day that we can send our children to school without worry and a person does not need to “Come Out” publicly to declare their sexuality and can just be.

Tomorrow is Friday!

Tomorrow is Friday!

The Thinker is back from his trip (I was beginning to doubt he would come home) and he very thoughtfully brought his girlfriend a souvenir. I am happy that he was thoughtful enough to bring something back for Julieth but a little sad that he had nothing but dirty laundry for me,. I mean, COME ON!, he grew up in this house he knows how I feel about prizes. OK, maybe I am even a little bit jealous. I love that he is a generous and kind boyfriend but COME ON! I am his mother. I think I am going to dig out the macaroni necklace he made me in preschool and wear it. I just want everyone to be clear with who has the #1 spot in his heart.

I always want to win something but I don’t want to play the game.

I want everything in the new Talbot’s catalog.

Wow, I am needy.

It has been 2 weeks since The Saint’s truck died and now my car is in the shop. Somebody gave us the evil eye.

I think there should be a 24 hour news station that only reports good news. I think the Disney company should run it. I would watch that all day long. Actually, I would like to work there. I could be in charge of finding the good stories. How great would that be?

Have I mentioned I am going to see Donny in 19 sleeps? Yup, it’s true.

Which means I am going to see Andi in 18 sleeps. I can not wait.

Which means that I have to fly. That I am not looking forward to.

Which reminds me I have to call my Doctor to prescribe some more happy pills.

Which means I am going to need a higher dosage since the Malaysian Airlines incident.

Great, now I can not breathe.

Another thing, I will never ever understand Divorced Father’s that do not do right by their children. Seriously. I know I only have my father to set the bar by and he set it pretty damn high but really? Man up and do the right thing. You divorced your wife, not your children. Man up for Christ’s sake. And I am not being vague. You know I am talking about you so bite me.

Triple P loves to read to me every little thing that strikes her fancy on Buzzfeed. Sometimes I really do not care to hear about things like “18  of your favorite toys from the 90’s” (She had 11 of them) and my personal favorite “ 13 reasons why Pacey was so much better than Dawson”. (She is obsessed with Dawsons Creek) but I have to try to stop what I am doing and listen to her. One day she will not be sitting right here wanting to read me stupid facts and I will miss it. So, who wants to debate why Pacey is better than Dawson with me because I have my facts.

I love this story.

A fourth grader told me that she loves when I read to them because I read with a lot of “Pizazz”. Best compliment ever.

book plate

Speaking of school. I love that people are still donating books in my Dad’s memory. It was such a beautiful idea. Thank You Jennifer and Missy.

 I should not have made the divorce Dad comment but you know what,  I am not deleting it. I don’t believe in airing your dirty laundry but I honestly am baffled by the behavior. Again, man up!

Here is what I did before I went to work this morning: emptied the dishwasher, threw a load of laundry in, paid some bills, swiffered the kitchen floor and fed the cat. (I love to swiffer but that is besides the point).

Then I went to work.

This is what I did after work: went to the grocery store, put the groceries away, folded 2 loads of laundry, made dinner, went through the mail, ate dinner, washed the dishes after dinner, called my mother, changed my clothes, went to zumba, came home, cleaned up, iced my ankle, played on Facebook and now I am doing this and watching TV.

This is what The Saint did before work: got up, got dressed, went to work.

He worked.

This is what The Saint did when he got home from work: ate dinner, asked me how my day was, watched TV, went to bed.

Interesting.

My sister, Gigi, sent me a delicious coconut cake to celebrate my losing weight. My family just rolls like that.

There is only one picture in this post. It looks kind of empty. I am too tired (from my very busy day) to look for pictures to post so I am going to post the picture of my parents that I am currently obsessing over, it’s pretty amazing. This is going to be the last thing I see tonight.

momandDad

 

The Noise In My Head……..and what it is saying is “Good Night Mom” and “Good Night Dad”………..”I love you”. (And Goodnight Moon. I could not help myself).