Monthly Archives: May 2014

Despite working on this post for about a week I have nothing (I can not focus)……………………………….

Despite working on this post for about a week I have nothing (I can not focus)……………………………….

50

 

 

it’s official. I passed the cut off date. I do not have to grow up!

I feel badly for the people who follow me on Twitter and Pinterest. I do absolutely nothing. My apologies.

This is a picture of a picture so it is not so great but COME ON! How cute are Mario and Domenic? They were in 7th grade and we let them skip school and took them to Six Flags for the day. This was the day I found out Dom had to be fed every 2 hours. Good Times. Good Friends.

This is a picture of a picture so it is not so great but COME ON! How cute are Mario and Domenic? They were in 7th grade and we let them skip school and took them to Six Flags for the day. This was the day I found out Dom had to be fed every 2 hours. Good Times. Good Friends.

There are so many reasons I love being a Mom but at the top of this list is watching my children with their friends. Riss and Mario have been blessed with the best of friends. I also love that they have had the same friends for most of their lives. Watching them all grow together and achieve major milestones has been one of my biggest blessings. Having eavesdropped on  conversations between Riss and Michelle and then Mario and Julieth and hearing them laughing and talking about everything and anything all at once makes me happy. And before you judge my eavesdropping, we live in a five-room house. Unless you are hiding in the basement I can hear you.

I love that I can still watch Dancing With The Stars with Lauren even though she is in Japan.

I have been reading the Curious George series to a kindergarten class for the past 3 weeks. This week halfway through Curious George and the Dump Truck I totally lost  it when I said the name George. I saw Dad in front of my eyes and started to choke up. Thank goodness the students thought I was chuckling (Curious George was doing something funny). I miss my Dad.

Natalie is killing us in BootCANp. And no that is not a typo. Her Boot camp is called BootCANp because you CAN do it. I like it. Anyway, she is KILLING us. My legs are screaming at me. My results have been great but I am pretty sure I am not going to be able to walk tomorrow morning.

Walking is overrated. I will crawl.

Things I wish for my friends.

1. The biggest slice of pizza.

2. When you turn the radio on your favorite song is playing. Yes Ed, I still listen to the radio.

3. You never pay retail.

4. A big piece of cake but not the corner pieces. No matter how much I love you all 4 of the corner pieces are mine!

Triple P and I are watching TV. The news was talking about Kim and Kanye’s wedding (gag me). I said that she was marrying him for his money. Triple P said “Oh, Kanye has a Prenup. He wrote a song about that. Gold Diggers!”. She kills me.

As much as my head is filled with Noise I got nothing………………………….

Mother’s Day Noise!

Mother’s Day Noise!

first day

My head is full of all things having to do with being a Mother. I have to write it down. I just woke up and am using my cheater iPhone to write this. I was reading all of my friends wonderful posts on Facebook and as usual the noise kicked in and I had to get it out.

1. On Mother’s Day I have to Thank my Mom for all the crazy. She has made my life colorful and loud and I am forever grateful. She has also taught me that doing the best you can is always enough.

2. My sisters have always made me a better Mother. They have been my foundation and have given me the support I need to be a Mom every day. A special shout out to Andi who truly is Marissa’s Mom.

3. On Mother’s Day I am especially thinking of my village, my friends. We have kept each other sane. We have asked and answered each other’s questions. We have cried and laughed together. We have endured too many firsts and lasts to count. We have picked up, dropped off and wiped the tears off of the faces of each other’s children. We have shared their triumphs and disappointments together. We knew what each other was thinking by the looks on our faces. We validated each other and we raised our children together. I am forever grateful for my village. I think we did a good job.

4. I am especially thinking of Ed who got me through Colic, Kim who got me through the elementary school years and all of you that saw in The Thinker everything that I did, especially Samantha Meier.

5. I am grateful to Michelle and Robin for blessing me with my Godchildren. Annalise, Angelina and Zach are the children of my heart.

6. I am thinking of Tessa, Sara and Eric who will always be my children from another Mother.

7. I always wanted to be a mom but I knew for sure I wanted children after Jakey Boom Boom was born. He was the child of my heart and I will always consider him my first baby. I will go to my grave knowing in my heart that his sister, Sambella, is mine.

8. I am thinking of Marissa and Mario’s friends. They also made me a better Mom and I have loved watching them grow into the amazing adults they have become. I love my children’s friends. They have amazing friends.

9. My thoughts are with the women I consider my Moms. The women I have learned from and been lucky enough to be loved by. Cathy Naples, Jane Perkins and Auntie OD have shown me how to be a better Mom by example.

10. I need to acknowledge all the Hallmark and Lifetime movies that have inspired me, encouraged me and taught me how much therapy my children were going to need. And even though I am not Ma Ingalls I often think to myself “What would Caroline do?” and mother by her example. The same could be said of Clair Huxtable, Carol Brady and Mrs. Partridge. What was her first name? I wish Parenthood had been on TV when my children were little, I probably would have drunk a lot less.

11. I miss handmade gifts and breakfast in bed.

12. I am grateful for the students at school that did give my handmade gifts for Mother’s Day. I love my job.

13. I am thinking of the Mothers in Nigeria who are waiting on words of their daughters. I can not even begin to imagine the depths of their despair. I hope they know every mother walking this earth is sending them love and hope.

14. Which makes me think for the hundredth time that Mothers should rule the world. Who better than a Mother to teach how to share, to punish firmly and fairly and to love equally. Seriously, we rule.

15. And as I lie in bed writing this I am thinking of the early morning hours of November 6, 1989. After being in the hospital and awake for 72 hours and an emergency C – Section ( I won’t bore you with details) Louie had finally gone home for some much deserved rest and the nurse asked me, that even though it was very early morning, would I like to try to sit up and finally really and truly hold Marissa. I remember she very gently helped me sit up and positioned me as comfortably as she could. She then left to get Riss from the nursery and I anxiously awaited her return. When she came back Riss was swaddled and wide awake. This angel of a Nurse handed her to me and made sure I was comfortable. She quietly stood in the corner as I held my baby for the first time. I looked at Rissa’s sweet face and in that moment my heart was complete. How lucky that I had the exact same moment 3 years later. I have been blessed.

Happy Mother’s Day.

I am still in bed. I think I might stay here all day.

Noise!

Noise!

 

I have been really tired and really sad for the past few weeks. I have not even felt like writing. I am swimming underwater again but I refuse to beat myself up about it. Everyone grieves in their own way and on their own timeline. losing Uncle so closely to losing Dad has sent me into a tailspin. I just wish I could sleep. I really miss sleeping.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas unless you eat too much and then you bring it all home with you in your hips.

There is something tragic about listening to “Bro’s” trying to be “Those Bros” in Vegas. It was pretty pathetic.

I have decided that I am going to Tweet and Tag Donny every chance I get. I will  not be ignored any longer. (Shades of that movie with Micheal Douglas and Glen Close. What was it called?).

I was teaching the kids the parts of a book today and it occurred to me that someday books will be obsolete. The thought makes me so sad. I still do not have a Kindle.

I love books.

I love Target.

I love Google.

I love cake.

But you know all this already.

I do not want to talk about the weather BUT I am cold.

Tomorrow is May 1. How did that happen? I am going to stay up and beat Eduardo at the Happy Month game.

I just referenced the weather and time going too quickly. It is official, I am old.

Wednesdays are my toughest days at work. With only 4 minutes between classes I am always running late. I start the day knowing I am going to fail. It’s a horrible feeling to walk into a classroom and know the teacher has been waiting for you to show up so they can do the millions of things they need to get done.It is a snowball effect, a teacher may come back only a few minutes late and normally who cares but on Wednesday’s I have to go to my desk between every class, there is no way to set up the day better, so that few minutes late added on to the time I need to get the books usually ends up in many minutes late and creates a disaster.  Wednesdays are really tough but even on my worst day I am reading/sharing books with kids I love so who am I to complain. (If you are one of the Teachers waiting for me please know I am trying, I am really trying!).

Ugh, it’s Wednesday,

I am going to pick a day and invite who ever wants to come over to help me clean my basement. It will be an Open House. There is so much down there I want to give away so if you are interested let me know. I think it could be really fun and will make me motivated to do it. Robin? Kirsten? Toni? Stacey?  are you in? I will provide the refreshments! I am thinking May 10 or May 17. If you wear a size 9 or 9 1/2 shoe you are going to want to be here. (Hint).

I watched the movie Philomena last night. I really liked it. I think you should watch it.

This makes me happy and sad at the same time. I remember him giving me this book.

This makes me happy and sad at the same time. I remember him giving me this book.

I was cleaning on Saturday and I came across a book Dad gave me for Christmas in 1975. It hurt to look at it. I miss him so damn much.

My laptop died. My Ipad is the original one and does not work very well so I am using Triple P’s laptop. I do not like it. I hate change. I am not sure what to do. Should I get a new laptop or a new Ipad with a keyboard? I think I want a laptop. I don’t know. It took me 2 years to pick curtains how long do you think this decision will take?

I know this is a good problem to have but none of my clothes fit. It’s the weirdest thing, I have gained and lost weight a million times in my life (no exaggeration) but this time it is so different. I think it is because I am older (older not old) and because of all the exercise. I am smaller in places I have never been before but the same in others? Does that make sense? Anyhow, I seriously have nothing that fits so get use to seeing me in leggings until I figure out what size I need. I am not going to lie, I am very excited to go shopping.

Speaking of which, do not forget to come over on Saturday for the basement purge.

Because this post is a work in progress due to my swimming underwater I need to tell you I did not beat Ed at the “Happy Month” game. That is 2 months in a row which makes the 2014 score Me:3 and Edurado:2. I will not let him beat me. I am in training for next month and feel I will be prepared to BEAT HIS ASS! I am also thinking it would be fun to stand on his front lawn with a Bull Horn and scream “Happy Month” at midnight but I do not want to disturb Grammie.

Mother’s Day is this Sunday. Hint.Hint.

So, this happened today;

First Grader: “Mrs. C you look different. Did you cut your hair?”.

Me: “No, I did not”.

First Grader: “Did you get new glasses?”.

Me: “No”.

First Grader: ” But you look different”

Me: “Well, I have been working hard and I lost some weight”.

First Grader: “No you didn’t”.

Me: “Yes I did!”.

First Grader: “No, you are still chubby. It must be something else.”.

And then he walked away. Perfect just perfect.

Due to the ‘swimming underwater” feeling I have been experiencing lately I have made some stupid mistakes. My mind is just not where it is supposed to be. In the last few weeks I have done the following………

1. Sprinkled the cats Herpes medicine into my coffee.

2. Thrown out the full bottle of Flonase and put the empty one in the medicine cabinet. Of course I did not realize that mistake until the next morning after the garbage men had been here.

3. Thrown out a check. Thank God I caught that one before the trash went outside.

4. Gotten into my car to drive to Zumba and drove to work.

5. Walked out of the house with my slippers on. Thank goodness I noticed them getting into the car before I got to work. The students already think I am crazy.

6. Put together a baked ziti and put it into the oven but forgot to turn the oven on.

I am thinking I should not be let out of the house.

I am hoping the cuteness of this new journal will inspire me to write.

I am hoping the cuteness of this new journal will inspire me to write.

 I am also thinking that I have been working on this post for 6 days and still not feeling it but am hoping that the writing comes back just like the music did. I actually filled the journal I was writing in and started a brand new one. It’s wicked cute. I am hoping that it will inspire me to write. I have put the journal I finished into my memory drawer. I started the last journal right before Dad was diagnosed and wrote the last entry on April 30. It is a chronicle of everything that happened and even though it is too painful to read it now ( I usually reread a journal when I finish it)  I think I will be happy to read it one day.

I miss my Dad.