Monthly Archives: July 2014

Lift up your hands!

Lift up your hands!

I took a Zumba and Fierce Funk class two nights ago. I am the whitest white girl I know. There is not an ounce of funk in me. I should not even say the word “Funk”. It’s just wrong.

Stacey brought me spaghetti squash. Thank You, Stacey.

I love the end of the movie “You’ve Got Mail”. It gets me every time.

Sleep is a beautiful thing.

It upsets me that I am just learning about Sharknado. I hate being late to the party,

Kirsten Green just shockingly pointed out that we go back to school in 15 days. This is wrong, wrong, WRONG!!!!

I am eating watermelon as I write this. Yum.
I am eating watermelon as I write this. Yum.

I have been eating a ton of watermelon this summer and have swallowed a lot of seeds. To say I am not worried would be a fib. Maybe my mommy belly is really a watermelon growing in my stomach. It could happen. Maybe I should eat some pop rocks and drink a coke to blow that sucker up.

I love feta cheese. I love watermelon. I do not love feta with watermelon. Go figure.

I was cleaning corn on the cob I was buying at the grocery store the other day, I like to clean it before I bring it home, and a little elderly Asian woman was collecting the hair or floss (not sure what you call it) from the garbage cans. I started just handing her what I was throwing away rather than put it in the trash cans for her to dig out. She never looked up or even acknowledged me. What do you suppose she was going to use it for? I think it has something to do with Voodoo.

I just googled the hair/floss and it  is called silk. Who knew?

I just googled what you can do with husk silks, this came up. So it was not voodoo. Whatever.

If the silk isn’t dried out and brown, it’s tasty! You can make tea with it or chop it up (so it doesn’t choke you) and use it like a fresh herb (in vegetable or grain salads, for example). It doesn’t have a strong flavor – sweet and a little corny. It’s supposed to have health benefits and is used in herbal medicine too.

I am a google whore.

2 points.
2 points.

I like to eat my yogurt with an espresso spoon. It lasts longer.

Clearly I like to eat.

The new Market Basket executives have sent a memo to the striking workers that if they do not return to their jobs to service the customers they will be replaced. Are they that stupid to think we are staying away because there are no employees to help us? We are staying away because you are greedy assholes. So apparently we CAN add stupid to the list.

Good News! I found a sports bra that I love! Bad news, I found it at Victoria’s Secret. I had a really super nice salesgirl and I was really up front about my anger towards the Angels but she still agreed to help me and shared that she is not a big fan of the angels either. We bonded in the fitting room as she was measuring me. It was not awkward at all once I realized we had a shared hatred of the Angels and their fashion show. I told her I throw Cadbury Mini Eggs at the TV and she told me she throws Popcorn. Her name is Kim.  We are now BFF’s.   I really do like my new bra.

I hit a huge milestone on my journey last night. One I never thought I would see. Of course Andi was the first person I text and her response was “I am always right! I knew you could do it!”. As much as I love the number do you know what makes me happiest? Crossing my legs. For the longest time I could not comfortably cross my legs. Yesterday I sat down and crossed them just because I could and it was way better than any number on a scale.

So fancy!
So fancy!

I fell asleep reading this last night! I feel so fancy and so professional. Having written the last 4 plays it is so exciting to have finally bought one once again. This Directors guide is so cool. It has blocking/costume/scenery/lighting/music suggestions all throughout the script. I can not remember the last time I was this excited for a production which is a really good thing considering this is #15. SO EXCITED! (Buckle up Chris,Colleen,  Corinne, Becky, Kirsten,Kim and Lauren, it’s going to be a fun ride!)


I have been listening to Midnight Radio from Hedwig and The Angry Inch on repeat for about 3 hours today. It is an amazing song. Seeing Neil Patrick Harris perform this song was one of the highlights of my life.Truly.I strongly urge you to go see him in the show before he leaves in October. Go! Go Now! It was unbelievable. The audience was collectively holding their breath and leaning in towards him as he stood on the stage singing this song. In the first few moments after he finished singing you could have heard a pin drop as we all caught our breath. Truth be told I was crying but so was Andi and the woman next to me so don’t be all judgmental. Then the whole place erupted in clapping and screaming. Well, everyone but Seth Rogan. He was sitting in front of us and I guess he was too cool to show any enthusiasm but his wife made up for his lack of it. It was crazy. Go see it. Go Now!


The Noise In My Head and it is singing………….”Lift up your hands!”.

6 sleeps until I see Andi.

Thoughts on my Disney get away……….

Thoughts on my Disney get away……….

I got this noise out of my head after my last trip to Disney. I am not sure why I never posted it. I want to go back. 

Shit show

Shit show

Walt Disney World is my Happy Place. I mean really, how can you not be happy there? They have all my favorite things: lots of crowns, fireworks, rides, Donald Duck, singing, dancing, parades, cupcakes, rice krispie treats and a kick ass castle. It is the happiest place on earth, for reals. These are my observations from this last trip……..

There was no greater show than watching two Dads have a standoff on the crowded sidewalk with their crying children strapped into the double wide stroller. Nobody was giving an inch. The crying got louder. The steely stares got colder. The harried Moms got shriller and the Dads would not budge. It was more intense than a Clint Eastwood cowboy duel.Finally the very happy Disney cast member had to break it up with her trusty flashlight. It was entertainment at it’s best.

I know where very single bathroom is in the Magic Kingdom. Go ahead, test me. Name a ride and I will tell you were the closest bathroom is located.

Disney finally caught up to me and my 19 years of free coffee. On Triple P’s first Walt Disney World vacation I bought one of those refillable mugs at our resort. Every trip  back since I have brought the same mug. Even if we have stayed at different resorts I have always used it. It was not only me being cheap, it also showed these other Disney come latelys  that I was not a Disney Newbie, I have been coming here for years. The proof? My beat up refillable  mug with the out dated graphics. Not anymore, The Machine that is Disney caught on to me and my free coffee. The new mugs have a chip in them that activates the soda machine to work. WHAT????? It’s true! You pay for how many days you are staying and they activate the cup. Cup not activated = no beverage. Damn you Mickey.

I have never seen so many overwhelmed, disheveled, confused Dads in my life.I almost felt sorry for them until I heard one Dad ask another Dad which Princess was Belle and Which Princess was Rapunzel. Come on Dad, know your Princesses!

I am thinking that the machine that is Disney is somehow sending us all subliminal messages that we must buy a ridiculous hat and wear it for the entire time we are there. Sadly, I can not wear a hat. I have tried them all and I only look more and more ridiculous. Ask Andi, she will tell you. You would think that with my love of crowns Disney would be the one place I would wear my crown with pride. You would be wrong. Nobody over the age of 8 should be wearing a crown at Disney. I mean it!

I love people watching at Disney. I feel pretty at Disney.

There is nothing better than eating a Mickey Mouse waffle on the first morning of your visit. Nothing.

Though I brought my children to Disney many times when they were little and had to deal with the stroller parking NOTHING makes me happier than walking past that shit show and thinking “Not Me!”.

It does not matter how many times I have seen Tinkerbell fly down the castle and start the fireworks I cry every time.

Funnel Cakes.

I impressed Burt with my Disney skills. Burt is hard to impress. We decided we better get out of the park before the Fireworks ended and got stuck in a bottle neck where Tomorrowland  meets up with Main Street. I yelled “Follow Me!” and cut through The Terrace restaurant which dumped us out right at Main Street where we could make a run for it. Burt was impressed at my skills.

Why does every mild mannered person become bad mannered and evil when they sit on an electric scooter. I was dodging those bad boys all day long. They aim at me!

What I would really like to see is a Dad with a double stroller battle it out with a Grandpa on a scooter.

I don’t care how much money you have spent to get to Disney when your child is lying on the ground kicking, screaming and crying it is time to leave the park. You know they want to go back to the hotel and swim in the pool, JUST DO IT!

Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) in the Pirates of the Caribbean is spot on! So cool! And if you go on the ride while everyone else is lining up for the parade, 90 minutes early, you can walk right on!

I want to go back. 

Lazy, Rainy Sunday Noise.

Lazy, Rainy Sunday Noise.

I can not stop sneezing. My record is 14 in a row. I may break that record today.

I love when the UPS/Mailman delivers something to the house I forgot I ordered. It’s like Christmas. This happens more often than you would think which either means I am old or that I have a problem, maybe both. Who cares? I love it when it happens.


I am watching “The West Wing” on Netflix. I like it even more the second time around. I have Marissa hooked on it as well. I would vote for Jed Bartlett for President.  What is really scary is that Season One aired in 1999 – 2000 and much of the topics covered are STILL relevant today.

Commercials either piss me off or make me happy. There is no in between.

Summer is going way too fast. Why does that keep happening? Any idea on how to slow things down?

I need to go an a boat ride. I miss our summers on the boat. If you have a boat I am dropping a major hint that I am in dire need of a boat ride.

My goal is to be dressed before noon today. It’s not looking good.

How is it possible I am 52?

Have I mentioned I lost my boobs?


Not sure why today more than any other day I am missing my SBS sisters, all of them. Maybe because I know that Holly is thinking of us from so far away. Maybe because of all the horrible things happening in the world I am holding those I love most close to my heart. Maybe because I just do.


Don’t feed the Greed. I will continue to Boycott MB but I really miss my store. I paid $3.00 more for Feta Cheese at Stop and Shop yesterday. Ugh. (I love Feta Cheese).

I am going to practice taking “Selfies” today. I always look ridiculous when I try to take one. I will never understand people taking selfies in the bathroom. You are in the bathroom. Really, you are in the bathroom and we can see you. Melanie and Shai are really good at “selfies”. They always look so good. Maybe they can help me. Please?

Why do I want to take a good “selfie” so badly. I have no idea. What does that say about me?

I always look like a man in photos so why bother.

Now that I have lost my boobs I will really look like a man.

One year ago today Andi and I went to Atlanta to spend some time with my Dad, It was a time of great uncertainty but I needed to see him, to touch him, to hear his voice and to take him in. It was a surreal experience and looking back on it completely different from any other time that I had ever spent with my father. He was different, it was different  but life was different. Still, I am so grateful for that 48 hours and would do it over again in a heartbeat. The last thing he said to me that weekend was “Skunk, thanks for coming”. Sometimes I miss my Dad so much it physically hurts.

Last year at this time I started seriously self medicating with food. (Coincidence? I don’t think so) I remember going back to the hotel room and hitting up the vending machines. Andi and I crawled into her bed with all our goodies and ate everything we bought. Shell shocked, hurting, not saying a word and hoping that the sugary goodness would make us feel better. It didn’t.

We had a lovely time celebrating Ann’s Birthday last night. See! I am capable of celebrating other people’s birthdays!

The North End was crazy busy. The tourists were out in full force looking for Mike’s Pastry. I almost wanted to tell them about Bova but decided to keep it our own little secret. If they think Mike’s is so good they do not deserve Bova’s.

Speaking of dinner in the North End I can not figure out how many points a white/lemon sauce is and do I want to know?

I stayed up too late watching “The West Wing” last night.

Not working is really cutting into my shopping money.

I am still looking for a spaghetti squash. If and when Market Basket reopens I promise to never make fun of it again! If you see spaghetti squash could you please pick up one or two for me. Thank you.

 Do you want to hear something I find really odd? If you don’t stop reading because I am going to write about it anyway. Everyone has been so nice and has showered me with compliments on my weight loss. And even though it embarrasses me I appreciate the kind words and it has helped to keep me motivated on my journey. What has surprised me is that when I am doing something the exact same way I have done it before the weight loss and someone compliments me on it. Twice in Zumba class someone has mentioned how well I am moving and I even got a “You are quite the dancer”. Please do not misunderstand, I am so grateful for the kindness but I am dancing the way I have always danced. What surprises me is that people did not notice me before when I took up more space. Didn’t the see me when I was heavier? I would have thought I was much more visible. None the less, I am not complaining, just getting the noise out of my head.

I am loving the sound of the rain and the thunder. I am so grateful I have nowhere to be today.

I think this post has gone on long enough.

Lazy, rainy Sunday.














I may never fly again.

It is heartbreaking and unfathomable to me that  innocent people are being used as weapons of war. It reminds me of Sept. 11 all over again. I know I am naive in believing that this does not happen every day all over the world but this is what I know and it terrifies and saddens me. I can only think about the innocent people who boarded that plane only thinking of what lay before them, never knowing what evil was planning for them. My heart breaks that we continue doing this to each other. My heart hurts and I may never fly again.

Again, I do know I am naive and that this happens for innocent people every day in other countries. I pray for them as well.

I may never fly again.

My name is Janet and I have a problem. OK, before any of my charming friends speak up here, I acknowledge that I have many issues. The one I am referring to today is that I can not scroll past a video clip on Facebook. You know what I am talking about, all the funny kids, cute kittens, flash dances at weddings, soldiers returning home, people doing good deeds and any other video someone deems important enough to put on Facebook with the post “Watch This!”. Well, I do what I am told and I also think to myself if you thought it was cute, funny, important than I will too and I watch EVERY SINGLE ONE! My name is Janet and I have a problem.

The above also means I have now watched the trailer for “Fifty Shades of Grey” three times this morning. No, once was not enough. And all I have to say is “Oh, My…….”. I did not like the books and I do not think I will see the movie but none the less, “Oh, My…………”

kI have also read everything anyone has posted on The Market Basket debacle and I say good for them! I am so impressed with how the workers have stood behind their ousted President and support him. That SPEAKS VOLUMES to the kind of employer he is. How many of you have worked for someone who you feel that passionate about.? Some of the employees have worked there their (there and their, I had to think about it) whole lives. I do not know many people who have been that lucky. I may poke fun of my Market Basket experiences but I support them 110% and will not step foot in their store until this issue is resolved in the manner the EMPLOYEES are happy with. I say “Good for them!”. They have more guts than many Union leaders I know.

 Why does my paper towel need to stretch? That is just crazy.

I want to stick my face in a jar of peanut butter and lick it clean.

I want to make homemade mac and Cheese and eat it all.

I told you I have issues.

It is 12:54 and I am finally dressed and ready to start my day.

Have you seen the trailer for “Fifty Shades of Grey?’, Oh my………….

Lazy days of summer.

I love today.

I love today.

JandEI love today.

My house is filled with family.

I love having Jake and Elizabeth here.

I love having to rearrange the sleeping arrangements because we have too many people and not enough beds.

I wish I had a bigger house or even a normal house but I love having us all crammed together and on top of each other.

I love that we make it work.

I love that we always make it work.

I do wish we had another bathroom.

I love that at any given moment someone is sitting at the kitchen table.

I love the noise.

I love that when I look at Jake I can see the amazing man he has become and still see the happy little boy he was.

I love that he has happy memories in my house.

I love that Mystic not only came to my house but to Boston as well.

I love that we made new memories today.

I love that last night,after I knew everybody was in and safe for the night, as I was falling asleep I thought how happy I was that everyone was under one roof. I thought how happy this would have made Dad and it would have been normal and expected for him to call the house to hear about all the happenings and be wishing he was here for the chaos. And even though my eyes were teary my heart was happy because I know that this would have made him happy and somehow he knew. He saw us. He was with us and he was happy.

I love today.

July 17

July 17

July 17, 2013 the day I found out my Dad had cancer.



Up until then July 17 was my Grandfather’s Birthday. I loved celebrating with my Grandfather and I always try to spend July 17 honoring him in some way. It usually involves eating ice cream or reading a good book. But July 17 changed forever with one phone call.

I was already in Colorado helping Mom recover from her blood clots when I got the news. Dad had his procedure on July 10 and it was a long week of uncertainty and wondering what was to come when I finally heard the words spoken aloud that I had been silently hoping I would never hear. “Your father has lung cancer”. I F’ing hate cancer with every fiber in my body. July 17…………..



So, I woke up today and my heart quickly recognized the day before my brain could catch up. And as I asked myself “why am I crying?” I quickly remembered the date and I knew, July 17, the day cancer robbed my family of any sense of normalcy (Ha, like my family was ever normal) and changed our lives forever.

It has only been a year so my emotions are still high and the hurt is raw. Kind of like when I lost my Grandfather but different because my Grandfather had lived a long and wonderful life. We were blessed to call him ours for 95 years. You can’t ask for more than that. Well you can but that would be greedy. We were not ready to lose Dad. It was too soon. That is not being greedy. I am hoping that in years to come I can do something on July 17 to honor both of them but today I am just sad.


Birthday Noise!!!!!!

Birthday Noise!!!!!!

I love my Birthday. There might be one or two people left in the universe that do not know that so let me be perfectly clear. I love my Birthday!

I am not sure when or how my love of Birthday’s was born but I think it has something to do with the following.

I love cake.

I love presents.

I love cards.

My Dad loved his Birthday.

My Birthday is in the summer.

My family made Birthdays a celebration.

There was usually kitchen dancing involved.

You get to celebrate with your friends.

You get to make a wish.

Everyone has to be nice to you.

There is a party.

I mean really what is not to love?

This year was a little bit different. I knew it, I felt it but none the less it was my Birthday and I was determined to celebrate. So, I started my day by reading all your amazing messages and hearing from my family and friends. Thank you for those calls and messages. But the biggest surprise came from my Baby Boy. I do not want to brag or anything but on his very own, without any prompting from his sister or his father he not only bought me a gift but a card as well. And in the card he wrote the most loving message. It was almost too much for me to handle. It was so unexpected but also bittersweet because for the first time ever The Thinker and Triple P did something separately for me. When they were very little The Saint was in charge which meant I went out got what I wanted, brought it home, wrapped it and gave it to The Saint to give to the kids to give to me. Oh, and I picked out my own card. The one time The Saint was in charge of the card he bought one that said Grandmother. Gee, thanks. As soon as Triple P was old enough to take charge she did and always surprised me with the sweetest most thoughtful gifts. The Thinker usually just showed up at the last minute and signed the card “Mario” .  She is a good gift giver. I wonder where she gets that from?  I feared The Thinker was following in his Father’s footsteps but in the last year he has really come into his own. He has given his girlfriend very thoughtful gifts (we wont talk about the beta fish that had to be replaced twice before they gave up) and stepped it up. Yesterday he surprised me and did something all on his own. My heart was full.



But before you get all warm and fuzzy about my boy let me tell you this, I instantly wanted to play with my new toy and asked for his help. He was too busy and told me that I should be able to figure it out by myself so if you know any 8 year olds that would be willing to show me how to use this thing please send them my way. I am lost.

Triple P as always nailed it. She bought us tickets to see Pitbull. I may be the oldest, whitest girl wearing the most clothes there but I will be dancing.

The Saint bought me chocolate cake. Enough said. Reason # 2,840 I drink.

Yesterday there was a huge void in my day. Despite all the messages, calls, cards and celebrating the one person I did not hear from left a huge hole.I do think that he would have been so appreciative of all your love and support. He would have loved Corinne and then Jake and Elizabeth calling to terribly sing Happy Birthday to me. He would have loved Katelyn’s sweet text. He would have read all my cards. He would have been so proud of The Thinker surprising me. He would have asked me to read to him the messages on the Book of Faces (I kid you not) . He would have been thrilled that The saint bought chocolate cake instead of crappy white. He loved chocolate cake. In hindsight maybe that was him?!? Maybe that was his way to be here?.  None the less, despite the void of not receiving his call or card, he was in my heart all day. I recently read that the heart is a wonderful thing, it can keep things alive forever.

(Thank You Donna Wallace Calborne)

The Noise in My head, and it is full of all your good wishes. I am forever grateful. I know I say that a lot and it may lose some of it’s meaning in saying it too much but please know I mean it. I. AM. FOREVER. GRATEFUL. FOR. MY. FRIENDS. Got it!