July 17

July 17

July 17, 2013 the day I found out my Dad had cancer.

Papa

Papa

Up until then July 17 was my Grandfather’s Birthday. I loved celebrating with my Grandfather and I always try to spend July 17 honoring him in some way. It usually involves eating ice cream or reading a good book. But July 17 changed forever with one phone call.

I was already in Colorado helping Mom recover from her blood clots when I got the news. Dad had his procedure on July 10 and it was a long week of uncertainty and wondering what was to come when I finally heard the words spoken aloud that I had been silently hoping I would never hear. “Your father has lung cancer”. I F’ing hate cancer with every fiber in my body. July 17…………..

Dad

Dad

So, I woke up today and my heart quickly recognized the day before my brain could catch up. And as I asked myself “why am I crying?” I quickly remembered the date and I knew, July 17, the day cancer robbed my family of any sense of normalcy (Ha, like my family was ever normal) and changed our lives forever.

It has only been a year so my emotions are still high and the hurt is raw. Kind of like when I lost my Grandfather but different because my Grandfather had lived a long and wonderful life. We were blessed to call him ours for 95 years. You can’t ask for more than that. Well you can but that would be greedy. We were not ready to lose Dad. It was too soon. That is not being greedy. I am hoping that in years to come I can do something on July 17 to honor both of them but today I am just sad.

 

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