September 17, 2013. Early Morning.

September 17, 2013. Early Morning.

        Andi came and gently woke me up. I was not really sleeping, more like resting my eyes (sound familiar), because even in the secluded hallway I could hear all the machines. I could feel the terror in my heart. I could not quiet the noise in my head. I calmly said a simple “Ok” and I stood up and took her hand. As we walked into the room the four of us took up our positions at his bed as if we already knew our part. We held his hands, rubbed his legs and arms, stroked his forehead and kissed his face for what felt like a moment. The kind nurse told us they  had done everything they could to assure Dad was not  having the nightmares he feared. The nightmares he had after the first procedure were the only thing my father had ever told me scared him. They shook him to his core.  Knowing the beeping and whirring of all the machines were no longer comforting us the nurse muted the sounds and then stood quietly in the corner motioning what was happening. We quietly spoke to Dad the whole time hoping to quiet any nightmares he might be having with I love you’s, Thank you’s and Blessings that we called him ours. Whispering in his ear the names of all the people who loved, honored and cherished him we said goodbye. The nurse looked at us and nodded his head and then we cried.

4 Responses »

  1. Aawww!! Sweet Janet!! I am so sorry for you and your familys loss!! It’s amazing how fresh it all seems still! As my Mike would say, he’s off doing all the things he loved, happy and healthy, and sometime way, way off in the future, you’ll be together again!! Cue the crying….. : )

  2. Sending lots of love and prayers that you all find peace in knowing how much he loved and cherished his girls. Feed off all your memories and find strength in those memories. Hugs and Kisses!!

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