What if.

What if.

I love to write. I may not be very good at it but I it is something I love to do. How can you judge writing anyway? Silly question because there are writers I love and others I do not. I think I like to write for me. It’s cathartic and keeps me sane. I write things I would never say out loud and putting it on paper makes me feel better. I write things I would never have the courage to say out loud. I write things that I long for and things that I dream. Often I will wake up and there is something just there that needs to be written down quickly before I forget. Sometimes the noise in my head gets really loud and putting it into words and writing it down is all that really clears it. Well, drinking helps as well but really drinking every time my head gets loud would send me to rehab.  I write for me.

A few people have suggested I blog. I appreciate the encouragement but am afraid to make the commitment. What if I can not think of anything to write about? What if I say too much? What if I offend someone? Can you say Bite Me (my favorite expression) in a published blog? What if I use the wrong grammar or misspell a word (Zip it Justin!).  What if nobody reads what I write. Even worse what if they did read it?Too many questions but yet this small desire to just do it. What if. What if. What if.

So, I decided to do it and as far back as New Years Day 2011 I began to create what would become this blog. The Noise in my head. I asked a few very wise, very smart people for advice, showed it to people whose opinion I hold in the highest regard and then held my breath and waited for their responses. I also asked them to lie to me. But knowing these friends have great integrity and obviously great taste they encouraged me to go ahead.

One dear friend, Ed White, who I like to refer to as Eduardo because he is very fancy, creative and a throw back to a gentler more sophisticated era gave me great encouragement and a big compliment when he said he was going to call me Erma Bombeck which is much kinder than what he usually calls me and she is one of my favorite writers. She wrote an amazing list of things she would have done differently had she known her life was to be cut short from cancer. I read the list often. My favorite item on the list is… “I would have eaten dessert”. I dont want to look back one day and say “What if…..” So, I am holding my breath and I am posting the link to the blog for all my friends and then I am going to eat dessert.

Big Love to Dawn, Eduardo, Tessa, Marissa, Mario, Billy, Laurra, Melanie and Natalie.

18 Responses »

  1. Janet I am so proud of your accomplishment. I love to write and every single word you said about how you feel after having written something is true for me as well There is something about having thoughts out and written down that is very cathartic indeed……..Congratulatins!! I will follow and learn……..

  2. So. so, do glad you are doing this, kiddo. While I think everyone should read it, and will, it doesn’t really matter. You are already successful at it, already showing you can do it and already have done all the hard work… No go write some more as already anxious to read it.

    PS I’m not sure, but I think you called me old in there somewhere… 😉

  3. Oh Janet, you make me laugh, smile and cry all at the same time…I admire that you own who you are and speak what’s on your mind!
    Lots of hugs an I look forward to reading everything you write!!!
    Amanda

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *