I love being a Mother truly I do but sometimes when I can not lock myself in the bathroom or run out of the house screaming I like to make a list in my head of all the things that are easier than being a Mom. And yes I do realize that I make a lot of lists. You would think I would be the most organized human on the planet but you would be wrong. I think making lists keeps me sane. But, I am meandering. Let’s just say last night was one of those trying Mom moments when you know you are being tested or at the very least you are being punked. So, my list making is in over drive this morning and here is my updated list of things that are easier to do than being a Mom.
1. Climbing Mt. Everest. Hey, at least I would have some alone time.
2. Watching the scariest movie in the world. I am a Mom. You can not scare me.
3.Falling from a plane with a malfunctioning parachute. I am always free-falling. I do not like the Tom Petty song.
4. Shopping at Market Basket on the first of the month which just happens to fall on a Sunday. Been there and Done that.
5.Riding the rapids without a paddle. Easy peasy, I have driven with The Thinker and Princess Pissy Pants.
6. Having Lunch Duty all by myself when Nacho’s Supreme is on the menu with oranges that need peeling for dessert. Add in Capri Sun juice pouches and I am in my own private Hell but still more enjoyable than being a Mom last night.
7. Putting on Spanx.
8. Going to the Gynecologist. Yup, I went there.
9. Trying on Bathing Suits sober.
10. The 30+ hours of labor plus an emergency C-Section.
I believe all of the above are things that are easier than being a Mother but I still would not trade a moment of being a Mom. Most especially The Thinker and Princess Pissy Pants Mom.
The Noise In My Head (and it is SCREAMING!).